Surviving Chaos

My boss and I both agreed that this should be the phrase of 2020. After my husband shouted profanity (accidently) during my zoom call while my mic was un -muted, I felt at that moment….life just couldn’t get more out of control. My child was 7 months at the time and demanded so much attention from me; it became exhausting! My house was a mess. Oh, and my workload increased with never ending phone calls (Gabs screaming in the background) and zoom meetings with government agencies.  

It became even more stressful watching my husband go into doctor’s office’s everyday (pharm rep) during this pandemic for work. With the fear of Covid-19 hanging over his head, my husband was in survival mode and funny hubby was gone…

I literally became the house therapist- encouraging and praying over my husband and barely having enough strength to handle the day with a baby all while continuing to breastfeed and make everyone meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I know everyone has a story. I’m one of the fortunate ones because I still have my job, I’m still married and I have a partner to help me with the baby. Also, everyone around me was covid free…that I was aware of anyway. Yet life was very frustrating. For the longest time I would avoid going outside to do my part and be safe… but I was beginning to crack. Fortunately, through prayer and reaching out to my actual therapist, I began taking hold of my life and doing what I could to survive chaos. I’m writing this blog not only as therapy for me, but for those moms who have not gotten a chance to rest!!!! We will get through this together- STRONGER!

Below I list several steps that have been helpful through this chaos. I hope you can utilize them for yourself and get a chance to breath.

1. Don’t overwork yourself. I take time each day, in the middle of my day, to log off, throw Gabs in the stroller and go for a jog. Exercise is great endorphins and it allows the baby to get some vitamin D. We weren’t meant to be in the house 24/7.
2. Get out the house if you are comfortable. Once a week I go to Trader Joe’s. Not to just pick up groceries, but to get away from my family. No phone calls and no text (we are still working on that rule) should be made to mom (me). It’s my time to be Veronica. Not Mrs. Howard. Not Mommy. The store is 25 minutes away too so I blast on my favorite music and get in the zone. Take those 2-3 hours and enjoy every minute.
3. Have a support group to lean on. I recently joined a social group in Houston of amazing black women who are successful in there numerous occupations. They inspire me and we have virtual happy hour once a week. Talking to others that can relate to your life challenges can provide encouragement.
4. Everyone is struggling with this work from home life. Everyone is sick of zoom. Everyone is tired of their kids. Stop apologizing if the baby takes over the conversation. Pause or say “May I call you back” love on your baby and get back to work when you can.
5. Be kind to yourself
6. Set a schedule
7. Lean on the hobbies you love. For me it’s discovering new recipes, blogging, reading and catching up on reality TV trash! Work is not your life and..drumroll…your family is not your life mom! Take some time for yourself- it’s difficult, trusssttt me! But I can’t be my most patient self for anybody if I am not 100% well rested.
8. Make future plans. I know, we make plans and God laughs, but it’s exciting to plan your next vacay.. even if it won’t be until 2022. Pinterest can make this a very fun project.
9. Find little things to look forward too. Good example: my corny self is excited for fall. Idk why. Houston doesn’t have a damn fall but the fall is time for football, good food and it takes me back to my childhood in Indianapolis. Hold onto those corny feelings.
10. Staying spiritually connected. However that means to you… my God has kept me focus.

Stay Safe! With Love!