Let’s put you first! Self -care tips for women

Hey ya’ll! I know.. it’s been a while.

It’s crazy in the world right now (no need to tell you that) and even though I’ve always pride myself with pushing through every commitment, my first priority will always be to take care of MYSELF!

It’s a must and I’ve been noticing through my small circle of friends and acquaintances that there are so many women out there that have lost themselves. Whether it’s because of work, family, or with life’s problems…they feel empty. I’ve been there. It’s amazing how men can structure time to have for themselves and yet as women…we put ourselves last. Now, as a first time mom, I experienced the feeling of losing myself after I had my daughter. From her birth until 6 months, I struggled with lack of sleep and lack of self -care. Queen Michelle Obama mentions in an interview (involving her book) that she too, had this feeling. Every day, Cat daddy (respectfully) Barack made sure he got a good work out in while the Queen had her hands full with two Queens in the making. Her take: he prioritized himself and she needed to do the same. There was no reason that she couldn’t get the work out in, but like most moms, our top priority is not ourselves.

Like an empty vessel.. We need to be filled. Now, I can preach all day on why Queens need to take the reins and put themselves first (whether you are single or have a family)….but I figured a short list of great self -care tips can provide more value. My hope is that after reading this list- you value yourself and pour into yourself. It doesn’t mean you are neglecting the importance of your family or your career but YOU must take care of you. Who else will?

Take a staycation with yourself. Find a nice hotel at a cheap rate near your place and just plan a night alone. A new atmosphere is exciting. If you are a mom, tell your husband you need the night off. If he needs backup, tell the grandparents to be on standby or come help out.

That afternoon is for you. Phone will be on snooze and for emergencies only (emphasize that to them!) Close off all electric devices and just rest. I had the best sleep of my life when I went out of town for a work trip. Gabby was 5 months so, my husband was extremely nervous. I prepared him well and even though we will had a few conversations when I got to the hotel.. I turned off my phone and slept. I woke up in a pool full of milk (breastfeeding) but that sleep was worth it!

Make a list of your favorite hobbies and start doing one a day. Hobbies were never a big deal to me when I was younger and I always wondered why people made it as a big deal…but hobbies really define who you are and what you like! You can find new friends with this shared hobby. You may even find your future hubby with it too. There are social groups for everything now!! Try it.
Reach out to your friends. Most of my close friends live out of state and though I can’t see them as often as I would like- what keeps me grounded is chatting with them. Of course, as you get older and especially when you have a child, your circle becomes small. Put extra love and value on those present relationships… even if it’s just with one person.
Join a social group. I did that. There are social groups for every activity and every person (esp. if you are a woman of color). I joined a group of ladies that I shared similar interest in activities and they have been so awesome! Especially through this pandemic (that we are STILL in). Finding a group of ladies or moms that you can vent to about similar problems really helps you to realize… you are not alone J
If you love learning- take a new class! My husband is a pharm rep by day and an actor by night. He takes acting classes and auditions regularly. Since I love learning, I began taking online courses of Spanish. Spanish has been an awesome way for me to connect with others. My goal is to be fluent in the language so that I can utilize this for work as well as for pleasure.
Take the damn day off! If you are a working woman or even a stay at home mom- you need a day to yourself (and it can’t be filled with doing errands). I rarely take off unless I travel but during this pandemic, I have learned that my mental is very important. I do my best work when I am relaxed. SAHM (stay at home moms) can reach out to family and friends and plan in advance to have a day ALONE (or with your significant other) to get some time to yourself even if it’s for a few hours.
Take a day off social media. Social media will have you think that you are behind with life and that you must work yourself to death. That is not true. We are not meant to live through our phones so enjoy the present day!
Eat healthier. When I feel like trash- 9 times out of 10, I ate really bad food. While it is good to have your days of leisure and eat a donut, try to incorporate plant based foods in your regimen. It can help boost your mood and you feel lighter and more relaxed.

I hope this has provided some value for you! Leave a comment if you have any additional recommendations that can be used. I’m always open to new self-care strategies! Stay Safe!

The Challenge Continues..

Better late than never should be the title of this blog. Remember September ( I know it feels like 20 months ago)? Well, during that time on Instagram (and this blog) we discussed the RAW 3 day detox challenge. If you don’t recall, just scroll down a post or two ago and you will land at the RAW Detox Post which will guide you with recipes and advice on how to complete a 3 day RAW Vegan Meal Prep. So I had a few people join the challenge with me and they gave me their personal opinion on it:

+ “Smoothies are easy for me. I can do smoothies for every meal.”

+ “It was a bit much for me about 1.5 days- I think I should have detoxed before starting.”

+ “It wasn’t bad”

+ “I lost a few pounds”

+ “I lost two pounds”

+ “I was grocery prepared than mental, but I got my parents to do it with me and they were pretty good accountability partners.”

assorted fruit lot on brown wooden table

My personal opinion on the challenge is different since this has been my third or fourth time. I was hungry the first evening but that was to be expected. However, this was my first time meal prepping EVERYTHING! Prior to it, I would just buy salads and raw dishes from local restaurants ( I use to live downtown which made life easier to access all the good vegan places). Every night I stayed up to prep for the next day and by Day 2, I was pissed at the amount of time I was spending making meals for everyone ( hubby, myself and my child who eats a normal diet since she is 1 and because I SAID SO…argue with yourself before you try me)J

My mind was sharp and I felt in control with my emotions. 2020 has been a tough road for my little family and the raw foods calmed my spirits. My husband felt the same way and wanted to continue. I was sick of prepping and said we will figure out a strategy for next time. Otherwise I would totally do it again! And I plan to…right after Thanksgiving J

This time I will prep all 3 days as best as possible and provide more smoothies. My fave recipes included the juices and RAW Tacos!!!! So bomb. Follow me on Instagram at naturally.cocoa and join the upcoming challenge. Details will be on the gram!

Surviving Chaos

My boss and I both agreed that this should be the phrase of 2020. After my husband shouted profanity (accidently) during my zoom call while my mic was un -muted, I felt at that moment….life just couldn’t get more out of control. My child was 7 months at the time and demanded so much attention from me; it became exhausting! My house was a mess. Oh, and my workload increased with never ending phone calls (Gabs screaming in the background) and zoom meetings with government agencies.

It became even more stressful watching my husband go into doctor’s office’s everyday (pharm rep) during this pandemic for work. With the fear of Covid-19 hanging over his head, my husband was in survival mode and funny hubby was gone…

I literally became the house therapist- encouraging and praying over my husband and barely having enough strength to handle the day with a baby all while continuing to breastfeed and make everyone meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I know everyone has a story. I’m one of the fortunate ones because I still have my job, I’m still married and I have a partner to help me with the baby. Also, everyone around me was covid free…that I was aware of anyway. Yet life was very frustrating. For the longest time I would avoid going outside to do my part and be safe… but I was beginning to crack. Fortunately, through prayer and reaching out to my actual therapist, I began taking hold of my life and doing what I could to survive chaos. I’m writing this blog not only as therapy for me, but for those moms who have not gotten a chance to rest!!!! We will get through this together- STRONGER!

Below I list several steps that have been helpful through this chaos. I hope you can utilize them for yourself and get a chance to breath.

Don’t overwork yourself. I take time each day, in the middle of my day, to log off, throw Gabs in the stroller and go for a jog. Exercise is great endorphins and it allows the baby to get some vitamin D. We weren’t meant to be in the house 24/7.
Get out the house if you are comfortable. Once a week I go to Trader Joe’s. Not to just pick up groceries, but to get away from my family. No phone calls and no text (we are still working on that rule) should be made to mom (me). It’s my time to be Veronica. Not Mrs. Howard. Not Mommy. The store is 25 minutes away too so I blast on my favorite music and get in the zone. Take those 2-3 hours and enjoy every minute.
Have a support group to lean on. I recently joined a social group in Houston of amazing black women who are successful in there numerous occupations. They inspire me and we have virtual happy hour once a week. Talking to others that can relate to your life challenges can provide encouragement.
Everyone is struggling with this work from home life. Everyone is sick of zoom. Everyone is tired of their kids. Stop apologizing if the baby takes over the conversation. Pause or say “May I call you back” love on your baby and get back to work when you can.
Be kind to yourself
Set a schedule
Lean on the hobbies you love. For me it’s discovering new recipes, blogging, reading and catching up on reality TV trash! Work is not your life and..drumroll…your family is not your life mom! Take some time for yourself- it’s difficult, trusssttt me! But I can’t be my most patient self for anybody if I am not 100% well rested.
Make future plans. I know, we make plans and God laughs, but it’s exciting to plan your next vacay.. even if it won’t be until 2022. Pinterest can make this a very fun project.
Find little things to look forward too. Good example: my corny self is excited for fall. Idk why. Houston doesn’t have a damn fall but the fall is time for football, good food and it takes me back to my childhood in Indianapolis. Hold onto those corny feelings.
Staying spiritually connected. However that means to you… my God has kept me focus.

Stay Safe! With Love!

Vegan Pecan Pie

Its holiday season folks! Bring on the cheesey music , games and laughter. But let’s not forget the pie! My instagram family voted for pie as a dessert to make and I couldn’t have been more happier. This Pecan Pie is so easy to make and so good— it’s a must for Thanksgiving and Christmas. The special ingredient…coconut milk brings a nice surprise to the flavor. Check it out and let me know your thoughts.

INGREDIENTS:

2 tablespoon vegan butter (I like Miyokos)
1 and 1/2 cups finely chopped pecans
1/2 cup coconut sugar
1/4 cup pure maple syrup
3/4 cup unsweetened full-fat coconut milk
2 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 tablespoons corn starch
1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt
1 prepared pie crust

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat the oven to 350°F then parbake your prepared pie crust for 7 minutes. Set it aside to cool. In a measuring cup, combine the coconut milk and cornstarch then whisk until smooth.

In a saucepan, melt the vegan butter over medium heat. Add the pecans and toast in the pan for about 30 seconds while stirring continuously. Pour in the maple syrup, coconut sugar, coconut milk mixture, vanilla and salt. Whisk until smooth.

Remove from heat then pour the mixture in the pie crust until filled to about 1/4-inch of the top of the crust. Bake in the oven for about 30 minutes, or until filling appears mostly firm when you gently jiggle it. Cool on the counter for 2-3 hours then cover and store in the refrigerator for at least 8 hours, ideally overnight. Allow to sit at room temperature for at least an hour before serving. If it’s too cold then it will be firm but serving it at room temperature makes for the perfect texture.

Photos

Mind.Body.Baby, part 2

Welcome back! This is the second part of the series Mind. Body. And Baby and in this segment, I will be discussing my pregnancy- the highs and lows. So I did it! I got pregnant. And you would think that I would settle down and get fat and happy. No… in all honesty, between work and my own personal life, I felt like demons were trying to bring me down. Being pregnant in the summer leaves you with little patience for ANY B.S. Hormones are raging, you no longer fit any clothes and people want to try you.

I went through prenatal depression. It’s similar to postpartum but you get it while you are pregnant. So many feelings…all at once. Until you feel a child move around you, you are scared. Or at least I was. For some reason, some family and friends enjoyed telling me horror stories they have heard about labor and miscarriage. FYI that is selfish to put your fears on a pregnant woman. Keep them to yourself and only bring about encouragement and love!!!!!!!!!

My heart rate was REALLY high as well. Primarily due to my asthma medicine but medicine + anxiety = 135 beats per minute which is insane. I wasn’t gaining as much weight as I should either. I kept eating and eating and it never stuck on me. Meanwhile, I was also puking every other day but not much to keep my weight low. I continued to eat pretty healthy which was the BEST thing for me. No coffee and liquor, kept my already anxious nerves, subdued (the best it could anyway).

Exercising saved me too. Although I couldn’t do much at the gym- that little bit helped my body, mind and spirit. Those endorphins are really amazing and whenever I felt super lost- the treadmill was my answer. I received a few stares but for the most part, people minded their business and I was able to get my relaxation in my own “sanctuary”.

“Your cervix is still closed”- was pretty much the repeated line my doctor gave me. So after a tearful breakdown of a change in plans- we scheduled baby girl’s delivery for a few days later. I went to work on my due date- which now that I think of it, worst plan ever. As I proceeded to curse out a few people that day, my personal angel pulled me away and I left work early.

My big day was amazing and my little one came without any complications. Recovery was a breeze but Breastfeeding was a nightmare….. TO BE CONTINUED

What is your motivation?

Healthy is in. It is the flashing topic in today’s society and yet Americans are still extremely overweight. In my profession, I am used to hearing people push back on their healthy goals with me.

Here are a few memorable quotes:

“This scale is broken.”
“I just ate- that must be why the scale’s numbers are off because at home I have a different weight”.
“No, we do not snack throughout the day – I don’t allow it”

I’ve even had someone plead with me that all of their lab work is wrong .

Yet they still come back.

They still believe that they can do the work. And a lot of them can. The first few weeks or even first few months are a breeze. Weight starts to drop. You get compliments non- stop. Hell, you start buying new clothes and giving people advice. Then temptation comes into play… you have a cheat meal. No biggie, you make it up by working out 20 minutes longer than normal…then you miss gym day. It’s okay, I’ll make it up next week… . Next week never shows and then you’re stuck wondering if it even matters because you’re meant to be sick. The main culprit everyone tells me “GENETICS”.

I have heard the word genetics be thrown into every health case possible… so…how does one stay motivated to remain healthy? Why do they keep coming back?

Sometimes it takes a few months or even a few years for patients/clients to return. However, I was curious as to what keeps people motivated to remain healthy? I asked various friends and family from different generations, on what motivates them. The people I selected are those who I see always working to maintain good health. Whether it’s through eating, working out or both- they have all lasted their healthy living journey longer than a year. And now it’s a lifestyle. Below are some of the stories:

“Healthy shits motivate me. With a healthy diet it’s so much more satisfying to number 2”
“I want to live as healthy of a lifestyle as I can so that I can remain active well into old age. I want to be able to do adventurous activities with my kids and their kids”
“The energy it gives me in the day to day life of having so much to do. My workouts are better when I put the right things in my body”
“ We are living longer, but good health is key to enjoying longevity instead of waiting to die”
“I desire to live my best life.”

So clearly, everyone feels so good when they are healthy but- why is it so hard?! That’s another topic I’ll dive in at another time..’

Anyway my goal for this post is for you to evaluate your goals & motivation. I’m not perfect and I must reevaluate my own health journey from time to time. Write down your short term goals in sticky notes and post them on the mirror. I do this and I promise you, it helps!

Being required to look at them everyday- sends you a reminder. Have a friend hold you accountable for your short term goals. Make sure they call you at certain points in the day (EVERYDAY) and be honest with them. Last but not least.. Keep going!

Mind, Body + Baby Series. part 1

Hey yall! Some of you may already be sick of hearing me talk about babies + mom life… then this isn’t the blog for you lol. I wanted to create a special series relatable for all people but particularly…women. Motherhood is a long, 24/7, 365, beautiful, tiring, crazy, chaotic, overwhelming, joyful, marvelous experience that I am fortunate to be a part of. The picture I have used to explain my motherhood journey is not to brag about the “snapback”. We women have enough pressure to be perfect. However, this picture illustrates my health journey, which I take very seriously.

This blog series will discuss: Nutrition + Fertility, Pregnancy, and Post Partum mental health + wellness.

* I am not a doctor so if you have specific questions + needs, make an appointment with your OBGYN or PCP to answer all of them. Every BODY is different and unique.

My husband and I really wanted to have a child. And fortunately she came- without any difficulty. However, in my circle of friends, infertility has been brought up as a topic that many of them had experienced. It left me nervous because I have friends who are healthier than me struggling to this day. So when Tony and I discussed about starting a family, we immediately changed some lifestyle habits.

We both cut off smoking (hookah and other things) and began drinking less. The drinking less was harder for me. We all have our vises and being West Indian, my family DRINKS-so this was admittedly the toughest challenge that I had. Next, I limited my amount of greasy fast food I would eat on occasion. I also wanted to save money as well so it was a win/win. I don’t drink a lot of water so I forced myself to consume 1 gallon a day and stuck fruit and mint in it to jazz it up.

We also pushed to eat more meatless meals, which has now become part of our household ((and instagram stories)). I incorporated Organic Maca Powder in my morning breakfast shakes. It is considered a “superfood” and is a powder that comes from the maca plant. It is intended to increase energy as well at the libido. It also contains: iron, calcium, magnesium, and amino acids. I used it because my previous boss, who is a Cardiologist, often bragged about its fertility benefits.

So for about a month, I scooped it into a smoothie and it was DISGUSTING! But I wanted a baby so I forced my husband to take it as well ( of course) and a month later- I was pregnant. Now I will say that we also made sure to have sex during my ovulation time and you can check that with an app ( I used FLO app). These are all tips that hopefully can help you if you are working towards a baby journey. I’m not sure if all of them contributed to our success, but I do know Nutrition is important for health in general. Ladies, don’t be hard on yourself + I wish nothing but success in your future.

Portobello Pot Roast

” So… are you Vegan?” I get asked this question quite often. If you know me, you know I HATE labels when it comes to food, so my answer is always ” I’m healthy..ish”. I don’t want a label and I don’t want people scrutinizing what I eat and why. They tend to do that anyway since I’m in the nutrition field.

The recipes I choose to highlight tend to have little or no animal product AND taste freaking amazing! Most of my family members are carnivores, so when I pick a recipe to make and I don’t have any leftovers- that lets me know, it was LEGIT! This Vegan Portobello Pot Roast is just that.

It’s hearty, filling and warm. Complete opposite of what I need to eat in the summer but hey- I wanted to create something that would leave me full and satisfied and it did just that. The house smelled amazing and after I posted the meal- I received calls with people asking for a plate. Check out the recipe below. Your carnivore family will be very suprised it’s a plant based meal. I paired it with Minimalist Baker’s Recipe for Vegan Cornbread. Dinner was a hit!

Ingredients

1/2 cup | 120mls red or white wine , I think red works best
4 large portobello mushrooms sliced into 3/4-inch pieces
1 large onion sliced
2 cloves garlic pressed
3 tablespoons flour if sensitive to gluten use gluten-free flour
1 teaspoon rubbed sage
1 teaspoon dried basil
3 cups | 720mls vegetable broth divided. If you use all the broth it will end up with thin gravy like in my video. I personally prefer to use less and have a thicker gravy. Usually about 500 mls total.
4 large potatoes quartered
4 large carrots cut into 3-inch pieces
Salt and freshly ground black pepper or lemon pepper to taste
2 teaspoons vegan Worcestershire sauce , or 1 tablespoon of soy sauce or tamari
4 sprigs fresh thyme
1 sprig fresh rosemary

Get IngredientsPowered by Chicory

Report this ad

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (for slow cooker instructions see recipe notes)
In a large saucepan (or a large stovetop to oven like a Dutch Oven , heat 1/4 cup of the wine and add the portobello mushroom slices. Allow them to cook through and brown a bit—you’ll need to keep moving them around and turning them—and then remove from the pan and set aside.
Add the remaining 1/4 cup wine to the pan and add the onion and garlic. Caramelize the onions by stirring them until they wilt and begin to brown. Remove the onions from the pan and set aside.
Mix the flour, sage, and basil together in a small bowl. Stir in 1/4 cup of the broth to create a paste, and pour the mixture into the same pan you used for the mushrooms and onions. While stirring constantly over medium heat, very slowly add the rest of the broth so that you create a gravy or sauce.
When the mixture just starts to boil, turn the heat off and add any additional seasonings you prefer, such dried herbs and black pepper.
Add the potatoes, carrots, salt and pepper, and Worcestershire sauce to the gravy mixture. If more liquid is needed to keep the vegetables from drying out, add more broth.
Add the mushrooms and onions to the mixture and ladle into a large ceramic or glass pot or casserole dish with a lid, layering in the sprigs of rosemary and thyme. Place the lid on and put into the oven and bake for 1 hour. Remove from the oven and serve hot.

Notes

For more flavour, replace some of the broth with extra wine and throw in a handful of dried porcini mushrooms before it goes in the oven.

If you would like to cook this Portobello Pot Roast in a slow cooker then prepare as directed until the gravy is made, then tip it into the slow cooker and add the rest of the vegetables and the seasonings. Sit well and cook on low for around 4 hours or until the potatoes are tender. Add a little more liquid if it looks like it might dry out towards the end. You could use broth or some red wine.