Hey ya’ll! I know.. it’s been a while.
It’s crazy in the world right now (no need to tell you that) and even though I’ve always pride myself with pushing through every commitment, my first priority will always be to take care of MYSELF!
It’s a must and I’ve been noticing through my small circle of friends and acquaintances that there are so many women out there that have lost themselves. Whether it’s because of work, family, or with life’s problems…they feel empty. I’ve been there. It’s amazing how men can structure time to have for themselves and yet as women…we put ourselves last. Now, as a first time mom, I experienced the feeling of losing myself after I had my daughter. From her birth until 6 months, I struggled with lack of sleep and lack of self -care. Queen Michelle Obama mentions in an interview (involving her book) that she too, had this feeling. Every day, Cat daddy (respectfully) Barack made sure he got a good work out in while the Queen had her hands full with two Queens in the making. Her take: he prioritized himself and she needed to do the same. There was no reason that she couldn’t get the work out in, but like most moms, our top priority is not ourselves.
Like an empty vessel.. We need to be filled. Now, I can preach all day on why Queens need to take the reins and put themselves first (whether you are single or have a family)….but I figured a short list of great self -care tips can provide more value. My hope is that after reading this list- you value yourself and pour into yourself. It doesn’t mean you are neglecting the importance of your family or your career but YOU must take care of you. Who else will?
- Take a staycation with yourself. Find a nice hotel at a cheap rate near your place and just plan a night alone. A new atmosphere is exciting. If you are a mom, tell your husband you need the night off. If he needs backup, tell the grandparents to be on standby or come help out.
That afternoon is for you. Phone will be on snooze and for emergencies only (emphasize that to them!) Close off all electric devices and just rest. I had the best sleep of my life when I went out of town for a work trip. Gabby was 5 months so, my husband was extremely nervous. I prepared him well and even though we will had a few conversations when I got to the hotel.. I turned off my phone and slept. I woke up in a pool full of milk (breastfeeding) but that sleep was worth it!
- Make a list of your favorite hobbies and start doing one a day. Hobbies were never a big deal to me when I was younger and I always wondered why people made it as a big deal…but hobbies really define who you are and what you like! You can find new friends with this shared hobby. You may even find your future hubby with it too. There are social groups for everything now!! Try it.
- Reach out to your friends. Most of my close friends live out of state and though I can’t see them as often as I would like- what keeps me grounded is chatting with them. Of course, as you get older and especially when you have a child, your circle becomes small. Put extra love and value on those present relationships… even if it’s just with one person.
- Join a social group. I did that. There are social groups for every activity and every person (esp. if you are a woman of color). I joined a group of ladies that I shared similar interest in activities and they have been so awesome! Especially through this pandemic (that we are STILL in). Finding a group of ladies or moms that you can vent to about similar problems really helps you to realize… you are not alone J
- If you love learning- take a new class! My husband is a pharm rep by day and an actor by night. He takes acting classes and auditions regularly. Since I love learning, I began taking online courses of Spanish. Spanish has been an awesome way for me to connect with others. My goal is to be fluent in the language so that I can utilize this for work as well as for pleasure.
- Take the damn day off! If you are a working woman or even a stay at home mom- you need a day to yourself (and it can’t be filled with doing errands). I rarely take off unless I travel but during this pandemic, I have learned that my mental is very important. I do my best work when I am relaxed. SAHM (stay at home moms) can reach out to family and friends and plan in advance to have a day ALONE (or with your significant other) to get some time to yourself even if it’s for a few hours.
- Take a day off social media. Social media will have you think that you are behind with life and that you must work yourself to death. That is not true. We are not meant to live through our phones so enjoy the present day!
- Eat healthier. When I feel like trash- 9 times out of 10, I ate really bad food. While it is good to have your days of leisure and eat a donut, try to incorporate plant based foods in your regimen. It can help boost your mood and you feel lighter and more relaxed.
I hope this has provided some value for you! Leave a comment if you have any additional recommendations that can be used. I’m always open to new self-care strategies! Stay Safe!
Naturally Cocoa 